TheWorld'sGreatestSwordsman 　　Atanexhibitionoftheworld'sbestswordsman,thethird-placefencertookthestage.Aflywasreleased,andwithanarcofhisswordhecuttheflyinhalf.Thecrowdcheered.Thenthesecond-placemanslicedaflyintoquarters.Ahushfellinanticipationoftheworld'sgreatestswordsman. 　　Hisbladecamedowninamightyarc-buttheinsectcontinuedonitsway!Thecrowdwasaghast.Thegreatestswordsmanhadmissedhistargetcompletely,yethecontinuedtosmile. 　　"Whyareyousohappy?"someoneyelled."Youmissed!" 　　"Ah,"repliedtheswordsman,"youweren'twatchingverycarefully.Theyflylives,yes-buthewillneverbeafather." 　　世界上最伟大的击剑手 　　在一场世界最佳击剑手表演中,排名第三的击剑手上场了.一只苍蝇放了出来,剑划了一个弧,他将苍蝇劈成了两半.观众欢呼起来.紧接着排名第二的人将一只苍蝇切成了四半.现场一阵沉默,人们期盼着世界上最伟大的击剑手出场. 　　他的剑锋以一个巨大的弧线划了下来－－然而那只昆虫还在继续飞行!观众被惊呆了.最伟大的击剑手完全错过了他的目标,然而他还在微笑着. 　　“你为什么这么高兴?”有人嚷道,“你没击中!” 　　“啊,”剑手答道,“你刚才没有很仔细地看.苍蝇还活着,是的－－但他永远也做不成爸爸了.” 　　————————————————————————————————————————— 　　AMistake 　　AnAmerican,aScotandaCanadianwerekilledinacaraccident.Theyarrivedatthegatesofheaven,whereaflusteredSt.Peterexplainedthattherehadbeenamistake."Giveme$500each,"hesaid,"andI'llreturnyoutoearthasifthewholethingneverhappened." 　　"Done!"saidtheAmerican.Instantly,hefoundhimselfstandingunhurtnearthescene. 　　"Wherearetheothers?"askedamedic. 　　"LastIknew,"saidtheAmerican,"theScotwashagglingprice,andtheCanadianwasarguingthathisgovernmentshouldpay." 　　搞错了 　　一位美国人,一位英格兰人和一位加拿大人在一场车祸中丧生.他们到达天堂的门口.在那里,醉醺醺的圣彼德解释说是搞错了.“每人给我五百美元,”他说,“我将把你们送回人间,就象什么都没有发生过一样.” 　　“成交!”美国人说.立刻,他发现自己毫不损伤地站在现场附近. 　　“其他人在哪儿?”一名医生问道. 　　“我离开之前,”那名美国人说,“我看见英格兰人正在砍价,而那名加拿大人正在分辩说应该由他的政府来出这笔钱.” 　　———————————————————————————————————————— 　　PigorWitch 　　Amanisdrivingupasteep,narrowmountainroad.Awomanisdrivingdownthesameroad.Astheypasseachother,thewomanleansoutofthewindowandyells"PIG!"Themanimmediatelyleansoutofhiswindowandreplies,"WITCH(女巫)!"Theyeachcontinueontheirway,andasthemanroundsthenextcorner,hecrashesintoapiginthemiddleoftheroad.Ifonlymenwouldlisten. 　　猪还是女巫 　　一个男人在一条陡峭狭窄的山路上驾车,一个女人相向驾车而来.他们相遇时,那个女的从窗中伸出头来叫到：“猪!”那个男的立即从窗中伸出头来回敬道：“女巫!”他们继续前行.这个男的在下一个路口转弯时,撞上了路中间的一头猪.要是这个男的能听懂那个女人的意思就好了. 　　————————————————————————————————————————— 　　ResponseAbility 　　AnOgden,Iowa,ministerwasmatchingcoinswithamemberofhiscongregationforacupofcoffee.Whenaskedifthatdidn'tconstitutegambling,theministerreplied,"It'smerelyascientificmethodofdeterminingjustwhoisgoingtocommitanactofcharity." 　　PhilosopherBertrandRussell,askedifhewaswillingtodieforhisbeliers,replied:"Ofcoursenot.Afterall,Imaybewrong." 　　Anewspaperorganizedacontestforthebestanswertothequestion:"IfafirebrokeoutintheLouvre,andifyoucouldonlysaveonepainting,whichonewouldyoucarryout?" 　　Thewinningreplywas:"Theonenearesttheexit." 　　答问技巧 　　衣阿华州奥格根的一位牧师正在与一位教友为一杯咖啡而猜硬币.别人问他那是否构成赌博行为时,牧师答道：“这仅仅是决定由谁来做一件善事的一种科学方法.” 　　当我人问哲学家罗素是否愿意为了他的信仰而献身时,他答道：“当然