托福作文作文批改谢谢：能不能从广告了解一个国家Haveyoueverbeenimpressedbysuchamazingsceneryfromatraveladvertisementthatyoueagertoverifyyourself?Haveyoueverrealizedthenewgovernment’spolicywithoutanyd|小学作文问答-字典翻译问答网

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托福作文作文批改谢谢：能不能从广告了解一个国家Haveyoueverbeenimpressedbysuchamazingsceneryfromatraveladvertisementthatyoueagertoverifyyourself?Haveyoueverrealizedthenewgovernment’spolicywithoutanyd

问题描述：

托福作文作文批改谢谢

：能不能从广告了解一个国家

Haveyoueverbeenimpressedbysuchamazingsceneryfromatraveladvertisementthatyoueagertoverifyyourself?Haveyoueverrealizedthenewgovernment’spolicywithoutanydifficultthroughaadvertisement?Haveyoueverfoundoutsoadvancedlaptopthatyoueagertopurchase

Asyoumayrecallsuchexperiences,youwouldcomprehendhowabundantadvertisementcouldtellyouaboutacountry.Itisnecessarytoputadvertisementintotwoseparatecategories:publicinterestadvertisementandcommercialones.Bothofthemarewindowstorevealthespiritofnation,andshowdevelopmentofyourcountry.

PublicinterestAdvertisement,sponsoredbygovernmentorpublicinstitution,asthemosteffectivewaytospreadnation’sthought.Wecanrealizenewpolicy,nationalbigeventandsocialsnapshotfromadvertisement.theseallnecessaryforus.forexamplein2008.morethan80percentofadvertisement’sthemehaveshiftedtotheOlympic.Olympicgames’ssloganwereproduceandbroadcastalloverthecountryviaradiotelevisionandeventheinternet.Bywatchingthem,youwillprobablyknowthatChinesedeterminedtoholdthiseventperfectly.

Comparedwithpublicinterestadvertisement,thelargenumberofdistinctivecommercialadvertisementprovidetheaudiencemorevividandexactpictureofwhat’shappeninginthecountryOntheonehand,itcaninformyouthecurrentnewproduct,fromKFC’snewfriedchickentoNike’snewsneaker,fromupdatedmobilephonetothenewestSUV.Ontheotherhand,fromcommercialadvertisement,wecanfindouthowfasttheeconomictechnologyandscientificofnationisdevelopingatnowdaysIt’samosteffectivewaytodiscoveracountry.

Admittedly,thecountry’sinformationthatwecanlearnfromadvertisementislimited.theyjustcontinuedwithintwotothreeminutes,afewwordsandpicturescouldberememberinourmindHowever,advertisingisthemosteffectivewaytotellyouanation’sspiritanddevelopment’step,Ithereforebelieveadvertisementcantellyoualotaboutacountry

胡伟湘回答：

　　我09年10月考的,TOEFL写作28,我尽量帮你提意见吧, 　　也不是很专业.改动的地方用大写标出　　HaveyoueverbeenimpressedbysuchANamazingsceneryONatraveladvertisementthatyouMAKESeagertoverifyyourself?Haveyoueverrealizedthe(new)government’sNEWpolicywithoutanydifficultIESthroughaadvertisement?HaveyoueverfoundoutSUCHANadvancedlaptopthatyouCANNOTWAITtopurchase? 　　Asyoumayrecallsuchexperiences,youwouldcomprehendhowabundantLYadvertisementScouldtellyouaboutacountry.ItisnecessarytoputadvertisementSintotwoseparatecategories:publicinterestadvertisementSandcommercialones.BothofthemarewindowstorevealthespiritofAnation,andshowdevelopmentofTHEcountry. 　　PublicinterestAdvertisementS,sponsoredbygovernmentorpublicinstitution(,)asthemosteffectivewaytospreadnation’sthought.Wecanrealizenewpolicy,nationalbigeventandsocialsnapshotfromadvertisementWHICHAREallESSENTIALforus.forexamplein2008.morethan80percentofadvertisements'themehaveshiftedtotheOlympic.THESLOGANOFOlympicgamesWASINTRODUCEDandbroadcastEDalloverthecountryviaradiotelevisionandeventheinternet.Bywatchingthem,youwOULD(probably)knowthatChineseWOULDSOONholdthiseventperfectly. 　　Comparedwithpublicinterestadvertisement,thelargenumberofdistinctivecommercialadvertisementSprovidetheaudiencemorevividandexactIDEASofwhat’shappeninginthecountryOntheonehand,itcaninformyouthecurrentnewproductS,fromKFC’snewfriedchickentoNike’snewsneaker,fromupdatedmobilephonetotheLATESTSUV.Ontheotherhand,fromcommercialadvertisementS,wecanfindouthowfasttheeconomictechnologyandscienCE(ofnation)AREdeveloping(at)nowAdaysIt’sTHEmosteffectivewaytodiscoveracountry. 　　Admittedly,thecountry’sinformationthatwecanlearnfromadvertisementSislimited.theyjustcontinuedwithintwotothreeminutes,afewwordsandpicturescouldberememberinourmindHowever,advertisingisthemosteffectivewaytotellyouanation’sspiritanddevelopment’step,Ithereforebelieveadvertisementcantellyoualotaboutacountry 　　以上是简单的句意&语法修改, 　　写作建议：　　1.注意格式,段落前要空行,一句话说完即应该使用句号. 　　2.论据使用过杂,分析较少,开头结尾要完整,尽量规矩,把观点鲜明地表现出来即可　　3.可以增加反向论证　　4.建议你多看看范文,了解托夫写作的思路,你现在写的不错就是不大像托夫作文,多看几片就知道怎么写了