麻烦高手给雅思作文评下分

Thegovernmentshouldstopputtingmoneyinnationaldefense.Towhatextentdoyouagree?

Itisquitecommonthesedaysforallthecountriesintheworldtospendagreatdealofmoneyonstrengtheningnationaldefense.Thistrendisnotrestrictedtodevelopedcountries,butisalsoevidentamongdevelopingcountrieswhichhasneedyresourcesandalargenumberofpoorcitizens.Thus,manypeopleassertthatgovernmentshouldstopinvestingindefensing.Personally,Iagreewiththisview.

Convincingargumentscanbemadethatbuildingnationaldefenseisashort-sightedpolicy.Tostartwith,thispolicyhasdetrimentalinfluenceupontherelationshipsbetweenthecountries.Morespecifically,thenationaldefensemustleadtoothercountries'panic,whichbringsaboutanewroundofseekinghegemonyintheworld.Namely,theWorldWarThreeisontheway.Furthermore,forbothdevelopedanddevelopingcountries,thereareahostofimperativethingsprevailingovernationaldefense.Forinstance,thegovermentsofdevelopingcountriesshouldattachimportancetocontrolpopulationexplosionandgenerateemploymentopportunitiesaswellascreateademocraticandenlightenedgovernmentsinsteadofdefensingnationalsecurity.Similarly,theauthoritiesofdevelopedcountriesalsorequiretohelpotherdeprivedareasalleviatepovertyandpromotethewholeworldtoadvanceinaharmonyway.

Admittedly,thegovernmentexpenseonnationaldefensetocertaindegreeisthecornerstoneofkeepingsocietysafeandstable.However,asamatteroffact,wearestillinapeaceworld.Accordingly.undersuchcircumstance,nationaldefenseseemsunnecessary.

Insum,Iconcedethefunctionalityofnationaldefense.Despitethat,Itendtobelieveinordertoremovethebarrierforcommunicationbetweennationsandavoidcausingtensionandconflictsbetweendifferentareas,governmentmuststopallocatingmoneytonationdefense.