Manypeoplethinkatelephoneisessential．ButIthinkitisapestandatimewaster．Veryoftenyoufinditimpossibletoescapefromsomeidleorcuriouschatterboxorfromsomebodywhowantssomethingfornothing．Ifyouhaveatelephoneinyourownhouseyouwilladmitthatittendstoringwhenyouareasleeporinthemiddleofamealoraconversationorwhenyouarejustgoingoutorwhenyouaretakingyourbath．Areyoustrong-mindedenoughtoignoreittosaytoyourself“Ahwellitwillallbethesameinahundredyears’time”Youarenot．Youthinktheremaybesomeimportantnewsormessagesforyou．Icanassureyouthatifamessageisreallyimportantitwillreachyousoonerorlater．Haveyouneverrusheddrippingfromthebathorchewingfromthetableordazedfromthebedonlytobetoldthatyouareawrongnumber?

Butyouwillsayyouneednothaveyournameprintedinthetelephonedirectoryandyoucanhaveatelephonewhichisonlyusableforoutgoingcalls．Besidesyouwillsayisn’titimportanttohaveatelephoneincaseofemergency-illnessanaccidentorfire?OfcourseyouarerightbuthereinathicklypopulatedcountrylikeEnglandoneisseldomfarfromatelephoneincaseofdreadfulnecessity．

IthinkperhapsIhadbettertrytojustifymyselfbytryingtoprovethatwhatIlikeisgood．Iadmitthatindifferentcircumstances-ifIwereatycoon(businessVIP)forinstanceorbed-riddenImightfindatelephoneessential．ButthenifIwereataxi-driverIshouldfindacaressential．

Letmeputitanotherway：therearetwothingsforwhichtheEnglishseemtoshowparticulartalent;oneismechanicalinventiontheotherisliterature．MyownbusinesshappenstobewiththeuseofwordsbutIseeImustnowstopusingthem．ForIhavejustbeenhandedaslipofpapertosaythatsomebodyiswaitingtospeaktomeonthetelephone．IthinkIhadbetteranswerit．Afteralloneneverknowsitmaybesomethingimportant．