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我没有很多分,但是请大家帮我看一下这样的托福独立作文水平大概能拿多少分好吗?让我有个概念.48Peopleworkbecausetheyneedmoneytolive.Whataresomeotherreasonsthatpeoplework?Discussoneormoreofthese
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我没有很多分,但是请大家帮我看一下这样的托福独立作文水平大概能拿多少分好吗?让我有个概念.

48Peopleworkbecausetheyneedmoneytolive.Whataresomeotherreasonsthatpeoplework?

Discussoneormoreofthesereasons.Usespecificexamplesanddetailstosupportyouranswer.

AccordingtoMarxandotherinfluentialeconomistsandsociologyscholars,labourisoneofthemainfactorsthatmakeuphumansocietyandkeepitrunning.Laboursimplymeanspeoplethatwork.Sinceancienttimespeoplework,howeverthereasonswhypeopledotheseeminglyboringbutnecessary“work”changeashumansocietyprogresses.Therearevarietiesofmotivationsofworkingintoday’sworld.

Primarily,itisnodoubtthatpeopleworktomakealiving.Peoplehavetoworkandexchangehiseffortsformoneywhichisanecessityforhimtoliveon.Withoutworkingonecanhardlyfeedhimselfandfindaplacetoshelter,aslongashisparentsaregettingoldandinabilitytoprovidelivingnecessitiesforhim.Workingprovidesastableflowofincomesothatamancanlivebasicallywellandsmoothly.Italsoensuresapersontheabilitytosupporthisfamily,nurturehischildrenandtakeothersocialresponsibilities.

Itiscertainthatworkingservesfarmorepurposesthanmakealiving.HomoSapiens,human,isasocialspecies.Apersonhastoworksothathecanbeengagedtoasociety,eitherbigorsmall,well-developedorprimitive.Apersonisincompleteandneverlivesaacceptablelifeifhedoesnotworkandthusisoutofthesocialcircles.Throughworkingpeoplemakefriendsandexperiencecollaboration.Thismakesupaperson’svaluehencethepersonwillhaveacompletepersonality.

Intoday’ssociety,though,themostreasonwhypeopleworkisthatworkingisawaytofulfillone’sambitions,inotherwords,realizehisdreams.Theambitionsmaybeminor,aslivingahappylife,havingalotofcuisines,orsplendid,astravelingaroundtheworld,orbuildupaworldwidecompany,andworkingistheonlypracticalwayforanindividualtorealizethem.Todaymostpeoplenolongerhavetoworkunderharshconditionswheremachinesandautomationhavejusttakentheplaceofthem,somanyofthemchoosetoworkforambitions.Therewardofwork,suchassalaries,highsocialstatusandsensesofaccomplishmentwillgoonservingasanincen

牟丹丹回答:
  我觉得这篇文章存在几个问题:1、结构.整篇文章的结构不够清晰,每段的结构也不够清晰.对于这个类型的题目,最好的结构是5段.第一段介绍背景,然后在第一段的最后一句话给出自己的总论点,你第一段的最后那句话就可以.在...
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