Iknowitiswrongtoenvyyourchildren.ButwhenIseemyson,TonioandhisyoungerbrotherSamgoingdownaslidetogether,one’sarmaroundtheother,IknowIhavemissedsomethingwonderful.

NotonlydidIneverhaveabrother,butalsoIhadnofriendshipsliketheirs.Mysisterwasoldenoughtohelptakecareofme,soshewasmoreamotherthanaplaymate,andIwasmoreapestthanafriend.Abrotherwouldhavebeenwonderful,butitwasnotinthefamilyplanning.

NowIfinallylivewithbrothers,mysons,TonioandSam.IamwatchingthembuildthekindofrelationshipthatIoncedreamedabout.Theygotobedtogether.Whenonecomesintoourbedafteranightmare,mywifeandIknowthatbeforemorninghisbrotherwillfollow.

Sammanagestheworldwithmoreeasethanhiselderbrother,whosefrustrationsoftenbringhimtotears.Withasincere“Smile,Tonio,”Samistheonewhocomfortshim.Tonio,ontheotherhand,hasstoppedplayingwithboysathisagewhodon’tlikeplayingwithSam.Theyarealwaysbackingeachotherup.

Idon’tknowwhatkindofrelationshiptheywillhavewhentheygrowup.Parentsalwayswanttheirchildrentohavewhattheynevercould.Iwantthemtohaveeachother.SoIimaginethemgoingtothesamecollege,marryingsistersandlivingonthesameblock.

That’swhyIwassoworriedthedayToniostartedkindergarten.IfeltthatIwouldlosesomethingtoo.Asweheadedforschoolthatmorning,bothboysseemedrelaxed,asifneitherhadanyideathatthedaywasgoingtobedifferent,thatstartingthen,Toniowouldbeleavingbehindhisbrother,hisbestfriend,hisrightarm.

Tonio’sfirstdaywaschaotic,withhundredsofchildrenoutsidelookingfortheirteachers.Beforeanyofuscouldsaygoodbye,Toniodisappearedwithhisnewclassmates.Heturnedtowaveandthenwasgone.Itwassosudden.Samevendidn’tseehimgo.Althoughparentshadbeenaskedtoeasethecrazinessofthefirstdaybystatyingoutoftheschool,IliftedSamupandtookhimtoTonio’sclassroom,lookingforaglimpseofTonio.Samspottedhimfirst.

MywifeandIdidn’theadbackhomeimmediately,stoppinginsteadatacoffeeshoptotreatSamtohotchocolate.Weevenlethimeatice-creamwithhisfingers.Samwasstillquiet,soIaskedhimifhemissedhisbrotheralready.

Hedidn’tanswer.Insteadheaske