问题标题:
朋友们,帮我改作文好吗?InChina,mostpeoplewouldsavemoneyforseveralreasons.Onlyafewpeoplethinkitisabsolutelyunnecessarytodoso.However,Iwouldopenanaccountatbankandsaveenoughmoneyforretirement.Iconcernwhocantak
问题描述:

朋友们,帮我改作文好吗?

InChina,mostpeoplewouldsavemoneyforseveralreasons.Onlyafewpeoplethinkitisabsolutelyunnecessarytodoso.However,Iwouldopenanaccountatbankandsaveenoughmoneyforretirement.Iconcernwhocantakecareofusifwearesickorbeinanotherunexpectable,money-needingsituationafterretirement.Thus,Istronglyrecommendpeopletosavemoneybeforeretirement.

Opponentwouldarguethatweshouldneverworryaboutthat.Becausethegovernmenthasalreadyestablishedmedicinesystemandwelfaresystemtoensurewecanlivingwithoutanyprevioussavingmoney.Anotherreasonisthatouroffspringwouldnotleaveuswhenwegetintrouble.Thereforewhywehavetosavemoneywhenweareworking?Thebestwayistousethemoneyimprovingourlifequalityandprovidingourchildrenbettereducation.Mostofthosewhokeepthisviewareoptimism.

However,Iamoneofotherswhoalwaysmakeplanbeforethingshappen.Ifwearesick,andneedanamountofmoneytodoanexperimentalsurgerytosaveus.Butthegovernmentrefusestoprovideitduetoitshighrisk.Shouldweacceptthetraditionalsurgeryandwaitthedeathcoming?Inaddition,Idonotagreethatwecandependonourkids.Iftheyareofpoverty,ortheyalsoneedmoneytogetmarryandtobuyhouse,etc..

Inconclusion,itisindeednecessarytosavemoneybeforeretirementforbothourkidsandus.Sometimes,wecannotexpectsomebodyelsewhomayhelpus.That’swhyweneedmoneyhelpourselves.

刘吉鹏回答:
  第一段:第三句:thebank第四句:Iamconcernedaboutwho.unexpected.第二段:第一句:theopponent第二句:wecanlivewithoutanyprevioussavingofmoney.第四句:whydowe第五句...
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