Agenerationofparentsraisedaccordingtothepermissiveprinciplesofpostwarchildcareexpertsisrediscoveringtheimportanceofsaying"No"totheirchildren．Theyarebeginningtoreclaimthehouseastheirown．Evenspanking（打屁股）isback．

Whiletoday'sparentsdonotwanttoreturntotheVictorianera（时代）-whenchildrenwereseen，spanked，butnotheard-thereisagrowingacknowledgementthatthelaissez-faireapproachproducedagenerationofchildrenrunningringsaroundpuzzledparentsstrugglingtorestoreorder．

JantheaBrigden，atrainerwithParentNetwork，says："Theproblemisthatparentsdon'twantallthatcontrollingthings．Whattheywantistobeabletodiscipline（管教）theirchildrenthroughteachingandencouraging．"

AccordingtoSteveBiddulph，theauthorofMoreSecretsofHappyChildren，thepermissiveerawasoftenjustanexcusetoignorechildren．Hebelievesdisciplineinvolvesfirmbutfriendlyteachinganddoesnotneedtoinvolvepunishment．Heteachesamethodcalled"standandthink"，whereachildishelpedtofigureoutwhatiswrongandhowtogetitright．Mr．Biddulphunderstandsparentsusingspanking，butlieisagainstit．"ThehappiestchildrenarethosewhoknowMumandDadareincharge．Aschildrengrowintotheirteens，morenegotiationcantakeplace，suchas：Proveyoucanbehomesafelyby1lpm，andwemightletyoustayouttillmidnight．"

"Thereisnogoodevidencethatanoccasional，properlyadministeredspankingisharmfulinanyway．"saysJohnRosemond，anAmericanwhohaswonahugefollowingbycallingfor"parentpower"．Itispurenonsensetobelievethatrestrictingchildrentotheirroomasapunishmentcouldmakethemhavenegativefeelingsabouttheroomandcausesleepproblems．

Mr．RosemondtrackstheoverturningoftraditionalfamilyvaluestotheendoftheSecondWorldWar．HeblamesthechangeoftheAmericanfamilyintoachild-centered，self-respect-oriented（以…为导向）unitonpsychologistsandsocialworkers，whofor30yearshaveweakenedtraditionalapproaches．PreviousgenerationsofAmericanparentsraisedchildrennotby thebook，butbyself-evidenttruth，hesays．Childrenshouldbeseenandhotheard．Ifyoumakeyourbed，you'l