ielts评作文

准备考雅思了,写了篇作文,望高手指点一下有什么错误和不足的地方,还有这篇文章大概能拿多少分,

Airtravelonlybringsadvantagestotherichpeople.Butthemajorityofpeopledonotbenefitfromit.Towhatextentdoyouagree?

Asthetechnologyisdevelopingatanstaggeringrate,thetransportationforindividualstoanywherebecomemorecomfortableandlesstime-consuming,whichshouldattributetotheinnovationofaeroplane.However,somepeopleassertthattheybelieveairtravelrarelybringsbenefitstothecommonpeople,butonlytakeadvantagestothewealthypeople.Inmyopinion,Iamnotagreewiththem.

Somepeopleholdtheirownopinionthatairtravelbringsprofitstotheaffluentindividuals.Foronething,inthecontemporarysociety,wealthypeopleoftenselecttheairtransportationwhentheytendtogototheothercountriesorsomewherefarfromtheirhome,whilecommonpeopleorimpoverishedpeoplegiveuptochooseairtravelandtakeothertypiesoftransport,becausetheyarecheaper.Foranother,Travelingbyplaneislesstime-consuming,andithelpswealthyindividualstosavealotoftime,thereforetheywillhavetheabilitytospendmoretimeandenergyontheirwork,whichcouldenhancetheirefficiencyofworking,butmanyordinaryworkerscannotaffordtoprofitfromit.

However,frommypointofview,aeroplaneisnotonlybuilttomeettheaffluentindividuals’requirements.Firstly,aeroplanesalwayshaveavarietyofclassesforpeopletochoose,forinstance,ithavetheeconomyclass,businessclassandVIPclass.Thepriceofeconomyclasscanbeaffordbymajorityofindividuals,whiletheVIPclassit’saimedtobepickedbythewealthyindividualswhoprefertotakeairtravelcomfortably,sodefinitelyitismoreexpensive.Secondly,travelingbyplanegivesusmorechoiceswhenwearedecidingwhichtransportationshouldbetaken.Ifwehavealittletimebutalittlemorebudget,wecanchoosetotakeaeroplane.Ontheotherhand,ifwehaveenoughtimeandrestrictedbudget,wecanpickanothertransportationwhichwillcostless.Finally,theappearanceofaeroplanealsobringsalotofemploymentopportunitiesfortheindividuals,itmakestheincidenceofunemploymentdropdown.

Fromalltheaboveviews,Ibelievethatairtravelisnotonlybeneficialtot