问题标题:
求雅思作文批改Inthisdayandage,itisextensivelyacknowledgedthatimprovinglivingstandardplaysanincreasinglykeyroleinoursocietydevelopment.Bythemeantime,whetherdamagetoenvironmentisaninevitableresultofimprovingliving
问题描述:

求雅思作文批改

Inthisdayandage,itisextensivelyacknowledgedthatimprovinglivingstandardplaysanincreasinglykeyroleinoursocietydevelopment.Bythemeantime,whetherdamagetoenvironmentisaninevitableresultofimprovinglivingstandardhassparkedspiriteddebate.Someindividualsassertitisanundoubtedconsequence.Frommyownperspective,Ithinkthisviewisoverlysimplistic.

Convincingargumentscanbemadethatwecanimproveourlivingstandardthroughnumerouseco-friendlyways,whichwillnotdestroytheenvironment.Tostartwith,asthetechnologydevelops,thestandardoflivinghasbeenrapidimproved.Anincreasingnumberofpeoplewouldliketolivecloselytothenaturesothattheycanhavefreshairandrelaxthemselvesfromalldaywork.Therefore,moretreeshavebeenplanted,notonlyintheruralarea,butalsointhecity,whichwillappealtopeople’sneedandevenprotecttheenvironment.Besides,withtheadvancedtechnology,humanbeingshavebeenexploitingnewnaturalresources,whichmaybeenvironmentally-friendly.Morespecifically,insteadofusingwoodsorcoaltoliveinahighstandardlife,solarenergyandwindpowercanbeusedinourdailylifeinordertomakeourlivesbetter.Lastbutnotleast,asthestandardoflivingimproves,theawarenessofprotectingtheenvironmenthasbeenonindividuals’minds.BythatImean,peopleusemoreeco-friendlytablewarewhentheyinarestaurantthanwhattheydidinthepastandeveryoneistryingtorecycleanyusefulresourcesforourgenerationsandsustainabledevelopment.

Admittedly,damagetoenvironmentcan,tosomeextent,beaconsequenceofimprovinglivingstandard.Thisisduetothefactthatahostofmanufacturerswhopaymuchattentiontopursuinghighprofitsinsteadofprotectingenvironmentalwaysuselessenvironmentally-friendlyproductsandsellthemtopeople.Evidently,accordingtotheirmisleading,itmaybetheworstconsequencetoourenvironment.Evenso,itisworthnothingthatprotectingenvironmentplaysasignificantroleinhighstandardlives.Inotherword,governmentshouldtakemeasurestopunishthosewhouseimprovinglivingstandardasanexcusetodestroyenvironmentandexploitmorerenewableresources.Forinstances,sincesustainabledevelopmenthasbe

段纳回答:
  太长了看晕了,雅思作文要求是250字呢这最少有400多,太长照样扣分,看不下去.第一人称要的太多,连接介词用错好几个,同样单词用的太频繁,中式英语很严重
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