求哪位大神帮忙批改雅思作文谢谢!!
题目:nowdaysthewaymanypeopleinteractwitheachotherhaschangedbecauseoftechnology
inwhatwayshastechnologyaffectedthetypesofrelationshipspeoplemake?
hasthisbecomeapositiveornegativedevelopment?
内容:NowadayswiththedevelopmentoftechnologysuchasmobilephoneandtheInternet,thewaypeopleinteractwitheachotherchangesenormously.Increasinglypeoplerelyonthemobilephoneforcommunicatewiththeirfriendsandcolleaguesandevenbecomeaddictedtotheinternet,whichcreattremendouseconomicprofitsbutalsomaycauseAlienationamongpeople.
Frommypointofview,Ithinkthereareseveralwaysinwhichtechonologyaffectedthetypeofrelationshipspeoplemake.Firstly,comparedwithseveralyearsago,nowpeoplenowtendtousemobilephonesinsteadoftelephonetogetintouchwitheachother.Forexample,thesuccessofIphon4whichisproducedbyAppleCoorperationisabestillustrationforthetransitionfromtelephonetomobliephone.
Secondly,thewidespreaduseoftheinternetisanotherfactorcontributingtothereplacementofoldtypeofrelationshipspeoplemake.Theirresistibleadventoftheinternetrenderamoreefficientandconvenientage.Notonlycanpeoplecommunicatewitheachotherthroughqqoremail,butalsotheycanpurchasenearlyeverythingtheywantviathewebsitsuchasTaobaoandEaby.What'smoreisthatcomputergamesnowbecomeoneofthemostpopularrecreationsforyoungpeopletoidletheirtimeawayandthemostfamousamongthemincludeworldandwarcraftanddotaandsoon.
Intheinformationage,somepeoplecannotleavetheseproductsevenfor1hourcoztheywouldbecomeanxiousanddepressediftheyarenotaccompaniedbytheseelecotronicproductsntheirhand.
Asitissaid,everythinghasitstwosides,sothedevelopmentoftheseproductshasitsdetrimentaleffectsonpeople,butisupposetheadvantagesoutstripthedrawbacks.Wecan'tbantheuesofcarsastheaccidentsratearehigh,also,it'snotfeasibletoblamethedevelopmentoftechonologyforallthefaults,beacuseitdependsonhowweutilizethemproperly.