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【求哪位大神帮忙批改雅思作文谢谢!!题目:nowdaysthewaymanypeopleinteractwitheachotherhaschangedbecauseoftechnologyinwhatwayshastechnologyaffectedthetypesofrelationshipspeoplemake?hasthisbecomeaposit】
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求哪位大神帮忙批改雅思作文谢谢!!

题目:nowdaysthewaymanypeopleinteractwitheachotherhaschangedbecauseoftechnology

inwhatwayshastechnologyaffectedthetypesofrelationshipspeoplemake?

hasthisbecomeapositiveornegativedevelopment?

内容:NowadayswiththedevelopmentoftechnologysuchasmobilephoneandtheInternet,thewaypeopleinteractwitheachotherchangesenormously.Increasinglypeoplerelyonthemobilephoneforcommunicatewiththeirfriendsandcolleaguesandevenbecomeaddictedtotheinternet,whichcreattremendouseconomicprofitsbutalsomaycauseAlienationamongpeople.

Frommypointofview,Ithinkthereareseveralwaysinwhichtechonologyaffectedthetypeofrelationshipspeoplemake.Firstly,comparedwithseveralyearsago,nowpeoplenowtendtousemobilephonesinsteadoftelephonetogetintouchwitheachother.Forexample,thesuccessofIphon4whichisproducedbyAppleCoorperationisabestillustrationforthetransitionfromtelephonetomobliephone.

Secondly,thewidespreaduseoftheinternetisanotherfactorcontributingtothereplacementofoldtypeofrelationshipspeoplemake.Theirresistibleadventoftheinternetrenderamoreefficientandconvenientage.Notonlycanpeoplecommunicatewitheachotherthroughqqoremail,butalsotheycanpurchasenearlyeverythingtheywantviathewebsitsuchasTaobaoandEaby.What'smoreisthatcomputergamesnowbecomeoneofthemostpopularrecreationsforyoungpeopletoidletheirtimeawayandthemostfamousamongthemincludeworldandwarcraftanddotaandsoon.

Intheinformationage,somepeoplecannotleavetheseproductsevenfor1hourcoztheywouldbecomeanxiousanddepressediftheyarenotaccompaniedbytheseelecotronicproductsntheirhand.

Asitissaid,everythinghasitstwosides,sothedevelopmentoftheseproductshasitsdetrimentaleffectsonpeople,butisupposetheadvantagesoutstripthedrawbacks.Wecan'tbantheuesofcarsastheaccidentsratearehigh,also,it'snotfeasibletoblamethedevelopmentoftechonologyforallthefaults,beacuseitdependsonhowweutilizethemproperly.

崔国勤回答:
  单词量有待增加;increasingly是adv;forcommunicating
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《【求哪位大神帮忙批改雅思作文谢谢!!题目:nowdaysthewaymanypeopleinteractwitheachotherhaschangedbecauseoftechnologyinwhatwayshastechnologyaffectedthetypesofrelationshipspeoplemake?hasthisbecomeaposit】|小学作文问答-字典翻译问答网》
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