问题标题:
求改下托福作文啊,嗨此生第一次写作文啊,写了2个多小时Obviously,settingupanewfactoryinthecommunitywillbringsomanybenefitsforthelocalresidence.Butthesewageandwastesareproducedbythefactorywhicharegreatl
问题描述:

求改下托福作文啊,嗨此生第一次写作文啊,写了2个多小时

Obviously,settingupanewfactoryinthecommunitywillbringsomanybenefitsforthelocalresidence.Butthesewageandwastesareproducedbythefactorywhicharegreatlyaffectthelocalpeoplelife.

Firstly,thenewfactorycanstimulatethelocaleconomyandprovidesthesubstantialamountofworkopportunity.Similarly,thelocalpeoplecouldbegintoopengrocer,restaurants,entertainmentstosurvepeoplewhoareworkinthefactory.Duetotherevenueincreasethatlocalpeoplecouldsenttheirchildrentohighschoolorbetterschool.Thus,establishanewenterprisealsocanimprovethelocaleducationhorizon.

Secondly,thenewfactorycanprovidemanymerchandisewhichpeopleuseit.italsoabsorbsomanyimmigrantsandleadtosomeissuelikewaterdefiant,excessivelyinflatedpopulationandsoon.

Merely,thereisnodoubtthatthenewenterprisemustcontaminatethelocalenvironmentandwaterresource.Itmightbeabigissue.itcannotbesustaineverycreaturesbecauseofthepollutedwater.

Inshort,Ibelievethatanewfactorydosehavesuffiencemerits,however,wecannotignorethedemeritsbecauseofthebenefits.wemustaccuratelydealwiththerelationshipbetweentheadvantagesanddisadvantages,mustn’twe.

林克英回答:
  Obviously,settingupanewfactoryinthecommunitywillbringmanybenefitsforthelocalresidence;however,thesewageandwastesthatareproducedbythefactorygreatlyaffectsthelocalpeople'slife.   Onthebrightside,thefactorystimulatestheeconomyofthecommunity.Firstly,thenewfactorycanstimulatesthelocaleconomyandprovidesasubstantialamountofworkingopportunities;therefore,thelocalpeoplecouldbegintoopengrocerystores,restaurants,andentertainmentstoserveworkerswhoareworkinginthefactory.Duetotherevenueincrease,localpeoplecouldsendtheirchildrentohighschoolorletthemobtainabettereducation.Asaresult,establishanewenterprisealsocanimprovethelocaleducationhorizon.   Ontheotherhand,openupanewfactorycouldpollutetheenvironment.Itabsorbsmanyimmigrantsandcouldeventuallyleadtoissuelikewaterdefiant,excessivelyinflatedpopulationandsoon.   Merely,thereisnodoubtthatthenewenterprisewillcontaminatethelocalenvironmentandwaterresource,whichmightbeabigissue.Itcannotbebenificialtoeveryonebecauseofthepossibilitiesofwatercontamination.   Inconclusion,Ibelievethatstartinganewfactorydohavesuffiencemerits,however,wecannotignorethedisadventagesbecauseofthebenefits.wemustcarefullyweightbothsidesanddecidewhatweneedtodo,mustn'twe.   你写的还不错,不过我又帮你改了好多~现在应该可以了.如果还有问题可以再问我.   好累阿~!不过我是第一个回答的呢:)   :)
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《求改下托福作文啊,嗨此生第一次写作文啊,写了2个多小时Obviously,settingupanewfactoryinthecommunitywillbringsomanybenefitsforthelocalresidence.Butthesewageandwastesareproducedbythefactorywhicharegreatl|小学作文问答-字典翻译问答网》
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