求帮批改作文!

1.Outdoorrecreationsuchasmountainclimbing,campingandhikingbringusclosertonatureandareidealactivitiestoencouragefamilybonding.

Towhatextentdoyouagreeordisagree?

Anincreasenumberofpeoplechooseoutdooractivitiessuchasskate,rockclimbing,hikingastheirweekendentertainment.Noonecandenythattheseactivitiescanbothprovidechancesforpeopletohaveadeeperunderstandingofthenatureandforfamilymemberstoknoweachotherverywell.

Oncewechooseoutdooractivities,searchinginformationlikeweatherconditionofthedestinationbecomesnecessary.Whenwegetthere,appreciatingthebeautifulsceneryandbreathingthefreshairareourmaintask.Ifweareluckyenough,wecanencounterwildanimalswhichareveryrareindowntown.Moreoverhavingoutdooractivitiescanbringusmoreinformationabouttheecosystemtherewhichisveryspecialforthosewholiveincities.Anyway,outdoorsportswouldbeourprincipalchoicewhenwewanttogetclosetothenature.

WiththedevelopmentoftheIT,moreandmorepeoplepreferconnecttheirfamiliesbytheInternet,likee-mailortheMSN.Thiskindofconnectionmakespeoplefeelmorelonely,manypeoplethink,eventhoughtheyoften‘meet’eachothersontheInternet.Gettingtogetherintherealworldorhavingsomesportsoutsidetogether,suchassurfingorbikingismoreusefulforfamilymembersgetawayfromlonely.ABBQorcampingcouldbegoodchoiceswhichconductmoreface-to-faceconservations.Conservationsarealwaysidealwaystomaketherelationshipcloser.

Inconclusion,itistheoutdoorsportsthatimpelfamiliestohaveacloserrelationshipandofferusopportunitiestohaveageneralunderstandingofthenature.

是雅思作文，要是能提出提高意见就更好了。我现在正在每天背新概念4上的文章，用以提高写作，同时提高口语，不知道大家有没有别的方法提供提供。