AmotherandsonwerewashingdisheswhilethefatheranddaughterwerewatchingTVintheroom.Suddenly,therewasacrashofbreakingdishes,thencompletesilence. 　　Thegirllookedatherfatherandsaid,“ItwasMom”. 　　“Howdoyouknow?”askedherfather. 　　“Shedidn"tsayanything.” 　　二：IHaveTurnedItOver 　　Awomansaidtoherhusband,“dear,lookatoursheet!It"stoodirty.Wouldyouliketowashitnow?” 　　Themanlookedatthesheetandthenthoughtforawhileandthensaid,“Idon"tthinkit"snecessary.Wecanturnthesheetover.Isthatallright?” 　　三、40overLilotusheartdiseasearisessuddenly,isescortedtothehospitalfirstaid.Theconditionextremelytoobad,theLilotusfeltoneselfnearlyallalreadydied. 　　Intherescue,theLilotushasheardGod'ssoundsuddenly:"Youcannotdie,youalsomaylivefor45years6months02days,hasthecouragetogoonliving!" 　　Certainly,theresultwastheLilotusmiracleisrevived.Afterthebodyrecovers,theLilotusthoughtoneselfalsocanliveformorethan40years,then□hasanxiouslyisleavingthehospital,firstrepairstheface,thenmakesupthelip,thenistheprosperouschest,finallyisthethinabdomen,continuouslyhasundergone4cosmetologysurgeriesaltogether,thenwascalledthespecializedhairstylisttovisittheservice,changedhassentthecolor,hasmadethenewtidehairstyle,theentirestaturelookedat□theyoungseveralyearsold. 　　Afterlastthereshapingsurgerycompletes,theLilotusthenhappilyhandledleftthehospitaltheprocedure,□thoughtactuallytheambulancewhichrapidly驶过by撞死intheentrance. 　　Aftertheheaven,theLilotushasbeenangryinterrogatesGod:"SinceyouhadsaidIalsomaylivefor45years,thenyoushouldnoteattheword." 　　Godawkwardly耸了耸肩,replies:"Reallyissorry,atthattime,thevehiclehitwhenyou......Ihavenotrecognizedamyou." 　　英语笑话这里面有的,可以看看： 　　英语幽默 　　双关歇后语： 　　Teacher:Whyareyoulateforschooleverymorning? 　　Tom:EverytimeIcometothecorner,asignsays,"School-Goslow". 　　老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到? 　　汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,僦看见一个牌子仩写着"学校----慢行". 　　DoYouKnowMyWork? 　　Onenightahotelcaughtfire,andthepeoplewhowerestayinginitranoutintheirnightclothes． 　　Twomenstoodoutsideandlookedatthefire． 　　“BeforeIcameout,”saidone,“Iranintosomeoftheroomsandfoundalotofmoney．Peopledon'tthinkofmoneywhenthey'reafraid．Whenanyoneleavespapermoneyinafire,thefireburnsit．SoItookallthebillsthatIcouldfind．NoonewillbepoorerbecauseItookthem．” 　　“Youdon'tknowmywork,”saidtheother． 　　“Whatisyourwork?” 　　“I'mapoliceman． 　　“Oh!”criedthefirstman．Hethoughtquicklyandsaid,“Anddoyouknowmywork?”“No,”saidthepoliceman． 　　“I'mawriter．I'malwaystellingstoriesaboutthingsthatneverhappened．” 　　译文：（自己简单翻译） 　　你知道我是干什么的吗? 　　一天晚上,一家旅馆失火,住在这家旅馆里的人穿着睡衣就跑了出来. 　　两个人站在外面,看着大火. 　　“在我出来之前,”其中一个说：“我跑进一些房间,找到了一大笔钱.人在恐惧中是不会想到钱的.如果有人把纸币留在火里,火就会把它烧成灰烬.所以我把我所能找到的钞票都拿走了.没有人会因为我拿走它们而变得更穷.” 　　“你不知道我是干什么的.”另一个说. 　　“你是干什么的?” 　　“我是警察.” 　　“噢!”第一个人喊了一声.他灵机一动,说：“那你知道我是干什么的?”“不知道.”警察说. 　　“我是个作家.我总是爱编一些从未发生过的故事.” 　　Whoisthelaziest