问题标题:
【雅思作文Topic:Someexpertsbelievethatitisbetterforchildrentobeginlearningaforeignlanguageatprimaryschoolratherthansecondaryschool.Dotheadvantagesofthisoutweighthedisadvantages?Weusedtoimpartaforeignlanguageto】
问题描述:

雅思作文

Topic:Someexpertsbelievethatitisbetterforchildrentobeginlearningaforeignlanguageatprimaryschoolratherthansecondaryschool.

Dotheadvantagesofthisoutweighthedisadvantages?

Weusedtoimpartaforeignlanguagetochildrenwhentheyattendasecondaryschool.Presently,aprevalentnewviewpointisthat

thereareanumberofpositiveoutcomesifastudentstarttolearnaforeighlanguagefromprimaryschool.

Thedrawbacksofstudyingasecondlanguageearlyaremultifarious.Tostartwith,anelementaryschoolstudentshouldbegivenmorefreedom,thatistosay,studyingalanguagemightbecomeasignificantburdenofhimorher.Asaconsequence,avarietyofnegative

atitude(i.e.afraidofattendingschoolandevengetboredofeveryting)couldbetriggeredduetothesituation.Moreover,primary

schoolteachersarerarelyobtainedaspecialtrainnigforteachingalanguage,sothattheyareprobablynotprofessionalandtheir

studentmightbemisledandgetwrongknowledge.

However,theideahasalsogainnednumerousadvocates,forthesakeofthefollowingreasons.Tolearnalanguagefromchildhoodismorerationalaccordingtoseveralscienceresearches.Morespecifically,childrenwhowereimpartalanguageatprimaryschoolscouldmorelikelytoacceptitwhencompariedwiththosestudyatsecondaryschools.Additionally,studyingalanguageisalong-term

objectivewhichneedsustodevoteourselvesintoitfordozensofyears.Whichmeans,theearlierwelearnit,themoreskilled

languagewewillhave.

Allinall,Iholdtheopinionthatthechildrenarespposedtolearnaforeignlanguagefromattendingprimaryschool.Admittedlythereare

plentyofprosandconsforthisissue,Ibelievetheformerprevailsoverthelatter.Asacollegestudent,Itotallyunderstandthe

importanceofaforeignlanguage,especiallytakethetrendofglobalizationintoconsideration

宋疾回答:
  首先,从审题来看:   问题讨论的是,从小学开始学外语是否好过从中学开始学外语,你的文章写的重点是是否应该从小学学外语(除了这句话以外,基本没有比较过中学跟小学学外语的优缺点啦.Childrenwhowereimpartalanguageatprimaryschoolscouldmorelikelytoacceptitwhencompariedwiththosestudyatsecondaryschools.),这个文章整篇就是偏题的啦.这个问题严重啊.建议你可以尝试画框,分别列两边的优缺点再写,这样就可以保证至少不离题,不偏题啦.   其次,从逻辑方面来说:   你的第一段的观点到第二点的观点过度很突兀.看你第一段的时候,觉得你认为是应该早点学,突然到第二点的时候,变成了缺点一堆的说明,所以,建议你第一段里边直接表明观点,你可以在陈述完第一个观点后,加多一句表明你自己的观点的话,whichIstronglysupport,之类的.反正是要表明观点.到第二点的时候,是转折的话,请加上你的表示转折的词.   第三段的时候,你的第一句话,theidea指代是错误的,根据第一句,也就是说theidea指代的是第二个观点,谁知道你写下来的是第一个观点.逻辑很混乱啊.如果你不知道如何知道的话,你干脆直接写明观点的内容,这样的话就可以避免了.   其次,语言上边:   1.你要多注意一些固定词组的搭配,比如说becomeasignificantburdenofhimorher,burdentosb才是正确的用法哦,不是ofsb哦.   2.名词的单复数,avarietyofnegativeatitude,这个attitude应该是复数哦.   3.动词的应用,couldmorelikelytoacceptit,likely的话,应该是belikelyto,所以,你如果用could的话,也应该是couldbemorelikely哦,这个你也可以当作是固定搭配啦.especiallytakethetrendofglobalizationintoconsideration.这个应该是,takingthetrend啊,作为状语啊.   类似的问题就等你自己慢慢按照这些原则来核对啦.当然,用词可以再提高一下,不过你得先把这三个基本问题搞定了,再来说用更好的词表达自己的意思.   雅思加油啦~~
陈晓颖回答:
  第一段到第二段经您这么一说确实挺别扭,还有那几个搭配。这个作文您觉得考试可以得多少分呢?
宋疾回答:
  5.5分吧~~
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