【雅思小作文,曲线的,求批改,求指错谢谢各位大牛及烤鸭同路人!Thelinegraphillustratesthedeathrateandthebirthrateinadevelopingcountrybetween1900to1970.Itisclearlythatatthefirstdecade(1900~1910)bothdeathr】|小学作文问答-字典翻译问答网

问题标题：

【雅思小作文,曲线的,求批改,求指错谢谢各位大牛及烤鸭同路人!Thelinegraphillustratesthedeathrateandthebirthrateinadevelopingcountrybetween1900to1970.Itisclearlythatatthefirstdecade(1900~1910)bothdeathr】

问题描述：

雅思小作文,曲线的,求批改,求指错

谢谢各位大牛及烤鸭同路人!

Thelinegraphillustratesthedeathrateandthebirthrateinadevelopingcountrybetween1900to1970.

Itisclearlythatatthefirstdecade(1900~1910)bothdeathrateandbirthratekept40%,afterwhichthedatashowsafluctuation.Thedeathrateroserapidlyandfinallypeakedupat60%in1920.Then,itdroppeddownasasamespeedwhenitroseandstoppedtill1940.fromtheperiod1940to1970,deathratemaintainedaslightfluctuation.

Comingtothebirthrate,aslightdecreasefrom4o%in1900to35%in1930.Fromthenon,thebirthratesurpassedtothedeathrateandreachedthehighestpoint(roughly50%)in1940,whiledeathratewereshowedthelowest.Afterasharpraisethetendencybecamedeclineandmoderation.Andtheratesinbirthanddeathstoodat30%and20%in1970,respectively.

Overall,alongwiththecountrydevelopedin70years,itsdeathrateandbirthratechangedalotandturnedtobebetterinthefuture.What’smore,thebirthratefinallyhigherthanthedeathrate.

韩士杰回答：

　　刚考完第二次,看到烤鸭战友格外亲切.因为没见到题,所以就您的习作本身说一下吧,由于本身能力有限,如果有漏的地方或者您有疑惑的地方,你可以追问,我一定尽力解答. 　　1、clear是形容词,clearly是副词,itis后面应该是形容词. 　　2、本文是过去时,shows应改为showed. 　　3、peak本身就是最高的意思,所以不用加at,或者改为shotup. 　　4、“itdroppeddownasasamespeed”as是不是应该改成at?后面的冠词用the,而不是a. 　　5、“theperiod1940”中的period后面有of. 　　6、“wereshowed”,我觉得showed就够了,were删了吧,还是您是想表示被动吗? 　　7、lowest后面应该有名词,不能单用一个最高级. 　　8、“What’smore,thebirthratefinallyhigherthanthedeathrate”缺少谓语动词,finally前加个were. 　　希望对您有所帮助,预祝雅思考试顺利!