问题标题:
高手帮我批改一下作文(六级的)alettertoalaid-offacquaintance正文如下:DearWing,Firstandforemost,ImustsaythatI'msosorrytohearthatyouhavebeenlaid-off.Ithinkyoumustbeinnomootodoanythingnow.However,asI
问题描述:

高手帮我批改一下作文(六级的)

alettertoalaid-offacquaintance

正文如下:

DearWing,

Firstandforemost,ImustsaythatI'msosorrytohearthatyouhavebeenlaid-off.Ithinkyoumustbeinnomootodoanythingnow.However,asIseeitfrommystandpoint,thesituationisnottoobadtodealwith.Youshouldrememberanoldsaying:Whereisawill,whereisaway.youundoubtedlygothroughthistoughtimeifyoukeepthisfaith.

NowallIcandoistogiveyoursomesuggestionsandhopethatitwillbeusefulforyou.Atthefirstplace,Ihavetosayitagainthatyoumustcheerupandbesonfident.Atthesecondplace,youhavetofindoutthereasonwhyyouhavebeenfiredandcorrectit.Forexample,ifyourbossfiredyouduetoyourlaziness,youmustworkharderanddevoteyourselftoyourjobfromnowon.Finally,youcansearchajobontheInternetwhichfitsyou.Besides,therearealsomuchimformationandadviceabouthowtosuccessedinyourcareer.

Sincerely,Ihopeyoucanhaveabetterjobsassoonaspossible.wheneveryouneedmyhand,I'lldoanythingIcantosupportyou.Callmeanytimeyouneed.

Bestwishesyourbestfriend

没错的不要复制粘贴,只要改有错的,免得看得眼花~.

蔡文举回答:
  1.作为副词引导句子,应该用firstly,而不是用first.第一句应该是firstlyandforemostly.   2.must用在第一句不妥.应该用haveto.   3.think的用法错误.要否定提前.idon'tthinkthatyouhavemoodtodoanything.   4.frommystandpoint有错,应该改为inmyopinion或者inmypoint即可.   5.whereisawill...改为wherethereisawill,thereisaway.   6.下一句应该改为youshouldandyoucouldgetoutfromthetough(gothrough也可以)   7.第二段第一句,主语从句缺少主语,应该改为whaticandonow.主句也有问题.全句应该改为:whaticandonowistogiveyousomesuggestionsandihopeitwouldhelpyou.   8.第二段第二句,没有atthefirstplace的说法,应该是firstly或者atfirst.   9.say后面为宾语从句,不能用it引导.应该用that.应该改为Ihavetosaythatagainthatyoushouldcheerupandbeconfident.其实这里显得非常累赘.直接用ithinkyoushouldcheerupandbeconfident即可.   10.atthesecondplace改为secondly.(与前面对应)   11.建议别人不能用must,应该用should.   13.correctthereason不搭配.直接用makesomechanges即可.   14.imformation是不可数名词,应该用is搭配.如果连上后面的advice应该改为:thereisalsomuchimformationandadviceson/abouthowtosucceedinyourcareer.这里应该用就近原则.be动词跟前面的information不跟后面的advices.   15.iwilldoanythingican不妥,应该用iwilldoeverythingican.而且wheneveryouneedmyhand太罗唆,直接用anytime在后面即可.即为:iwilldoeverythingicantosupportyou,anytime.   16.最后一句,bestwishestoyou,fromyourbestfriend.再加姓名.   总的来说,这篇文章完全是中文思维写好后翻译过去的,不是从英文的角度去思考的.所以,很多中式英语.语句不通顺.希望能改进.
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