【请高手帮忙修改雅思作文剑桥8T1writing...关于家长还是学校才能更好地使孩子成为.somepeoplethinkthatparentsshouldteachchildrenhowtobegoodmembersofsociety.Others,however,believethatschoolistheplacetolear】|小学作文问答-字典翻译问答网

问题标题：

【请高手帮忙修改雅思作文剑桥8T1writing...关于家长还是学校才能更好地使孩子成为.somepeoplethinkthatparentsshouldteachchildrenhowtobegoodmembersofsociety.Others,however,believethatschoolistheplacetolear】

问题描述：

请高手帮忙修改雅思作文剑桥8T1writing...关于家长还是学校才能更好地使孩子成为.

somepeoplethinkthatparentsshouldteachchildrenhowtobegoodmembersofsociety.Others,however,believethatschoolistheplacetolearnthis.

Discussboththeseviewsandgiveyourownopinion.

Forchildren,whetherparentingorschoolingshouldresponsibletocultivatechildrentobeagoodmemberofsocietyhastriggeredaheateddebate.I‘llanalysisbothviewsinthisessay.

thosewhosupposethatparentsshouldertoteachtheirchildrenholdtheviewsasfollows.Firstly,parentsexertpotentialimpactsonchildrenaschildrenstaylongerwiththeirparents.Asaresult,parentsareabletosetgoodexamplefortheirdescents,helpingthemtobuildupactivephilosophyoflife.Secondly,parentspayforeverythingfortheirchildren,includingaccomodationexpense,trainingfeeaswellasentertainmentcost.Children,undoubtedly,askforparents'advicesbeforetheytakeanyactions.Inthisway,parentsplaytheroleasthemonitorandthey,actually,shouldbeblamedifchildrengoastray.

Nevertheless,anumberofcitizensobjectitforthefollowingreasons.Schools,wherechildrenacquireavarietyofknowledgefrom,areasocietyinminiature,childrentendtocultivatesenseofcooperationandresponsibilitywhichbeneficialtothewholesociey.Furthermore,teachersinsillthemoralvaluetochildrenbytheexamplesfromallworksoflifehomeandabroad,thus,childrencouldbeinspiredandlearnhowtoaddressdifficultiesinthefuturelife.Additionally,schoolcanaffordkindsofinfrastructurewhichcan'tbereplacebyhome,suchaslibrary,gymaswellasmulti-mediaclassroom,bythesecanchildrenexpandoutlooks,workouttheirphysicalbody.Lastbutnottheleast,childrenweavepersonalnetworkinschool,thestrongpersonalrelationshipandsocialskillscontributetoworkwhentheygrowup.

Allinall,asiseeit,weshouldcombineschoolingandparentingtogether,othereducationcanbeaddedinifnecessary.It'sseriouswrongtoattributetheeducationtoanyofthem.

戴大为回答：

　　上面那位兄弟是要误人前程呀,只会夸人,对他真正考试有用么?恕我直言,这篇文章要得高分是不可能的,而且10分里8分也拿不到.就拿第一段为例：Forchildren,whetherparentingorschoolingshouldresponsibletoculti...

林宣治回答：

　　我觉得你分析得太好了！！！能不能再帮忙下面的指正我会再给20分。。。过两天要考试了。。。希望帮忙一下谢谢

戴大为回答：

　　算了，好人做到底，给你再改完吧T(t)hosewhoBELIEVEthatparentsshouldteachtheirchildrenholdtheviewsasfollows:Firstly,parentsexertpotentialimpactsonchildrenaschildrenstaylongerwiththeirparents.Asaresult,parentsareabletosetAgoodexamplefortheirKIDS,helpingtheKIDStobuildupANactivephilosophyoflife.Secondly,parentspayforeverythingfortheirchildren,includingFOOD,CLOTHING,SCHOOLANDOTHERexpenseS.Children,undoubtedly,TENDTOSEEKparents'advicesbeforetheytakeanyaction(s).Inthisway,parentsCANplaytheroleOFA(asthe)GUARDIANandthey,actually,shouldbeblamedifTHEIRchildrengoastray.MEANWHILE,SOMEOTHERSHOLDADIFFERENTVIEW.THEYSAYTHATschools,wherechildrenacquireavarietyofknowledge(from),areJUSTLIKEasocietyinminiature,ANDTHEYSHOULDHELPTHEchildrencultivateAsenseofcooperationandresponsibilitywhichISbeneficialtothewholesociey.Furthermore,teachersCANinsTillthemoralvalueStochildrenWITHexamplesfromallWALKSoflifeAThomeandabroad.Thus,childrencouldbeinspiredandlearnhowtoFACEdifficultiesintheIRfuturelife.Additionally,schoolSPOSSESS(canafford)ALLkindsofinfrastructureTHAT(which)can'tbeFOUNDINNORMALHOUSEHOLDS(replacebyhome),suchasTHElibrary,gymaswellasmulti-mediaclassroom,WHERE(bythesecan)childrenCANexpandTHEIRHORIZONS(outlooks,)ANDGAIN(workouttheir)physicalSTRENGTH(body).Lastbutnottheleast,childrenDEVELOPTHEIR(weavepersonalnetworkinschool,thestrongpersonalrelationshipand)socialskillsINSCHOOLS,WHICHCANHELPTHEMTOBETTERADAPTTOTHESOCIETY(contributetowork)whentheygrowup.Allinall,asiseeit,weshouldcombineschoolingandparentingtogether,WHILEotherFORMSOFeducationCOULDALSOBEAPPLIEDifnecessary.ItWOULDBEseriousLYwrongANDDANGEROUStoLIMIT(attribute)theeducationOFOURCHILDRENTOONLYONESINGLEWAY（toanyofthem).这么辛苦，快加分。