Ways to （Respectfully） Disagree

（36）___．But we can learn a lot from conversations where we don't agree-if we can listen and talk reasonably，that is．

Unfortunately，many of us either shy away completely from disagreements or lose it when things don't go our way．These 5tips can help keep disagreements helpful-whether you're talking to a parent，friend，or anyone else：

（37）___．If you get upset，it can help to remember you're mad at the idea or concept（观念）your parent （or friend，coach，coworker，etc．） is raising，not the person．

If you've ever been on the receiving end of someone's long speech making you unhappy，you know how valuable using respectful language and behavior can be．So instead of saying what you might be thinking （"That's a stupid idea!"），try："I don't agree，and here's why．"Don't shout，use sarcasm（讽刺），or say derogatory（诋毁的）words．（38）___

Using"you"statements can sound like disagreement．For example，telling your mom or dad，"You always remind me about my chores（琐事）on Wednesdays when you know I have a lot of homework"has a very different tone from"I'm feeling pressured because I have a lot of homework tonight．Can I do those chores tomorrow？"

Being a good listener is a way of showing that you respect and understand the other person's opinion．That makes it more likely he or she will do the same for you．When the other person is talking，try to stop yourself from thinking about why you disagree or what you'll say next．（39）___．When it's your turn to talk，repeat any key points the other person made to show you listened and heard what was said．Then calmly present your case and why you disagree．

（40）___．Of course，it's a huge challenge to stay calm and reasonable when you feel angry about something-especially if the person you're talking to gets angry．You may need to be the mature （成熟） one who manages the conversation，even if the other person is a parent or someone